I wanted to call this "We Survived Trump!" But tragically, 400,000 Americans (and counting) have not.
Or "He Didn't Blow Us Up!" -- my greatest fear around this time four years ago.
(Don't jinx us, Leon. He's not out of the Oval Office yet!)
But here we are -- finally nearing the end of the shit show that has been Donald J. Trump's Presidency.
(It's been the longest four years of my life. Hell, I've aged five years just since March!)
But back to our outgoing President and his accomplishments. A partial list:
The only president to be impeached twice.
The largest one-year loss of American lives ever.
The largest daily loss of American lives ever.
The only president to leave with higher unemployment.
The largest national debt ever left by a President.
The only president to serve McDonald's at a state dinner.
But his many failures, endless temper tantrums, and dubious achievements pale in comparison to his undeniable crimes this past week.
As much as we'd hoped to put Trump behind us quickly, for now that's impossible. Damn!
For after lying non-stop for months about his historic popular and electoral loss to Joe Biden, Trump scheduled that now-infamous rally outside the White House for Jan. 6 -- the very day Congress was scheduled to confirm Biden's electoral-vote victory.
He enticed his fans for weeks, promising it would "be wild," that they could "stop the steal." Congressional Trump ass-kissers encouraged their followers to attend, too, as did the usual gang of right-wing propaganda artists.
Anyone on social media knew that Jan. 6 would be a dangerous time to be in Washington D.C.
Well, apparently anyone except the ones we pay to know such things.
At the rally, following comic ghoul Rudy Giuliani's call for "trial by combat," Trump took the stage.
While continually repeating his fantastical lies that the election was stolen, he worked the radical-right crowd into a bloodthirsty rage.
He urged them to "fight much harder" against "bad people"; chiding "you have to show strength and you have to be strong." He told them "when you catch somebody in a fraud, you are allowed to go by very different rules."
"We've got to get rid of the weak congresspeople [sic] ... we got to get rid of them ...We will never concede ... you don't concede when there's theft involved ... our country has had enough ... we will not take it anymore ... if you don't fight like hell, we won't have a country anymore."
What resulted was a literal terrorist attack, by any reasonable standard, and took the lives of at least five people, including a Capitol Police officer. Another officer lost an eye. (Others are currently hospitalized and recovering.)
Trump had told them he'd march with them to the Capitol building. A lie, natch. He watched the ensuing melee on TV with glee, reports say, only regretting that his terrorists weren't more telegenic.
The wannabe "revolutionaries" brought weapons, broke into offices, stole laptops, went hunting for Pelosi and others, and literally left shit all over our Capitol.
But the attempted insurrection failed.
Following hours in lock-down (where Republicans refused to wear masks, and guess how that's turning out!), Congress reconvened that very night and certified Biden's win.
America prevailed.
Then Congress promptly impeached Trump for inciting an insurrection.
Big Business was pretty quick to follow, with corporate donors announcing they weren't going to be donors anymore -- at least not to anyone who perpetuated the election-theft myth.
Facebook suspended him.
Then, the impossible happened. Twitter finally booted @RealDonaldJTrump, and then blocked him from @POTUS and other official accounts. (A development that gives me no small satisfaction, I admit!)
Right-wing Parler lost all their vendors and went buh-bye.
Media is generally proclaiming "America wakes up to Trump's evil ways."
(Uh, hello? Millions of us have been screaming it from the rooftops for over four years!)
In the days since, there's emerging evidence that the assault was planned and coordinated in advance, and the insurrectionists were aided and abetted by sitting Republican members of Congress.
Some of them (I'm looking at you, Lauren Boebert!) hosted groups of the terrorists into the Capitol on Jan. 5 (verboten since March 2020 for obvious reasons), for "reconnaissance."
While a few brave Republican souls have condemned Trump, the rest are apparently terrified -- of Trump, of Trump's Terrorists, of possible investigations, of losing their base.
Too many Republicans have fallen right back into "bullshit mode," urging that an impeachment trial won't unite America (wanna bet?) and -- after four years of attacks -- saying we should just move on (not gonna happen!).
But wait, there's more!
The FBI has briefed Congress that more attacks are planned, including on Biden's inauguration next week, and on state capitols coast to coast.
It boggles the mind,.
But does it surprise me? No. As I said, I feared we'd be in a nuclear winter by now.
But there's good news, too.
Since the traitors stupidly posted tons of photos and videos of their criminal acts, the FBI predicts hundreds of arrests. Footage of crying Trumpettes in airports, as they learn of their new no-fly status, has been delighting millions.
Within days, Joe Biden will be sworn in.
Kamala Harris will become our first female Vice President -- one of color at that!
We will have control of the House.
We will have control of the Senate (finally), thanks in large part to Georgia's Stacy Abrams. ("Have a seat in the rear, Mr. McConnell!")
We can finally -- finally! -- begin to repair our nation from the venereal disease known as Donald J. Trump & family.
