Dispatches from Day #114

I'm 10 months without a cigarette, and over 5 months without a haircut.


My dreams no longer have plots -- they're now just rambling monologues of gibberish that continue all night long.

So, in that vein, here are some random thoughts -- thoughts I can't work into a single narrative, even though they're all about the same thing:


A fine line between gratitude and guilt...

Each morning, over coffee, I list 25 things I'm grateful for. That my family has thus far been spared from the virus is always top of the list. I can then quickly scribble out the next 15 or so entries, because in the scheme of things, Laurence and I are pretty lucky. We're OK for now.


Those last 5 entries are often difficult to write, though, precisely because we are so lucky. I start to feel guilty, and my gratitude begins to feel petty.


Today, for example, it occurred to me to be grateful COVID didn't happen 20 years ago, when I was a very busy stage actor in San Francisco. Or 30 years ago, when I was single and sex-crazed.

And speaking of which...


Zoom only goes so far...

What are social butterflies and sex addicts right now doing to cope?


A coffin is comfortable!*

If Barbra Streisand & Karl Malden had a baby, it would been born with my nose. Poor bastard. My point is, if Ms. S and I can wear masks over our gigantic honkers, you can wear one over your adorable little button nose. Honestly.


If one of those whiny, maskless assholes gets within 10 feet of me, I'm whipping off my mask and make like Jim Carrey all over their air space.

* I took a nap in one once, while shooting a horror film at a real-life mortuary.


If prisons are unsafe, so are schools

Donald Trump seems to think Americans are like frogs in a pot of water on the stove -- that we won't notice as the water heats and begins to boil. As with everything else, the man is sadly and sorely mistaken. Perhaps kids should be home-schooled until at least January 20! Every parent and teacher in this country should make their voices heard in November! Vote like this election is your last -- because it could be, in more ways than one, if you don't.


I'm not that good of a writer!

The longer this goes on -- the more people that die, the more people who become permanently disabled, the more families that are financially ruined, the more careers and companies that go under, the longer our federal leaders live in denial -- the less appropriate or effective my attempts to find a lighter side become.